Thursday, 1 April 2010

You absolute twit

Yeah, I'm on twitter, like everyone else. If you follow me, I will tell you a joke a day; that's nice, isn't it?

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Liquid Soap update

The BBC did an article on Liquid Soap. It's now been nominated for a Royal Television Society award, and apparently over 90, 000 people have visited the website. Which surprised me, I never really thought it would take off.

Did I mention that I wrote and acted in the second episode? No? Maybe because I've shut up about it after seeing just how hideous I look in it. Seriously, I do not know what I was thinking with that hair. Anyway, if you have no particular affection for your eyes, you can see my episode here.

Thursday, 7 January 2010

Friday, 1 January 2010

You do the maths

Waterstones are good. They are very good at what they do. By which I mean selling books. Not only do they own shops that you can walk into to view the books, and bring them to a counter a purchase them, no no. They provide very special 'deals', forcing you into a life of debt.

They are devious these book sellers. I was caught out yesterday when I saw that they were selling the new Hornby for just £4.49. Bargain, I thought. Only on closer inspection of the book's sticker did it transpire that this price only became available when your total purchase was £10 or over. OK, a little cheeky, but fair enough. I found a suitable partner for the Hornby, (That Mitchell and Webb Book, for those who are interested) and went to pay.

Now by this point, I was already invested in my purchase, I was anticipating soon owning them, doing with them as I willed, whether that be reading them, or something far seedier. E.g. makeshift doorstop.

It was only when I went to make my purchase that it further transpired (or should I say, 'conspired' !?!?!) that I needed to have already spent £10 in order to receive the Hornby discount. I could have, and perhaps should have walked away then, lobbing the books at the distressed assistant, crying my outrage at such daylight robbery. But I was too far gone, already too attached to my purchases (It's Hornby for chrissakes!)

So in order to save myself £2.50 from the RRP, I instead spent £22 on books that I had no intention of buying half an hour before. They're good.

Maybe Later

Sorry to everyone who was expecting a Makeup tutorial video this week. I've filmed it, and was in the process of editing it when I realised how it could be so much more awesome. So I've asked a fellow youtuber if he could provide the voiceover for the piece, and it's not for definite, but he may be able to fit me in next month. I think the potential collaboration is worth waiting for, so I'll try and resume the regular vlogs as soon as I can get round to it.

Also if you hadn't noticed, I've stopped posting my videos here (if you think this is a bad idea, tell me why), so go make a youtube account and subscribe to me or join the Facebook page to keep up to date with me.

Take care you guys x

Friday, 11 December 2009

Finding Howard

OK, so as some of you who I speak to may already be aware, I'm setting a website called (atm) 'Howard Bingleton Solves Social Situations with Science'. Howard is a fictional character, and his website is a guide for surviving modern life. He knows not everyone is cool or sexy, and he's the first to admit that he's neither, but he argues there are rules you can follow, algorithms to prevent you making a tit of yourself (my words, not his).

Illustrating the website for me is Liz Greenfield, you can see her other examples of her work at

Along with each article, Liz will provide an appropriate image of Howard to really spice the whole thing up. I'm very excited about it all, but we still haven't quite figured out what Howard should look like yet, so I'm posting some of Liz's sketches, with the hope that you'll tell me which ones you like, or seem to fit his voice. And beneath the images, here's a prototype article of what will be appearing on the website once it gets online. Please please please comment, and let me know what you think.

How to hug a woman

In your friendship with women, there will come a time when they will let you touch them. They are very specific about where, and for how long, but this is contact all the same. Women call this Hugging. It is not the petting zoo you might have imagined, there are strict rules to follow, and cries of sexual harassment if you don’t.

Many people hug, so it’s important to remember that it’s a convention, not a privilege. Accordingly, you shouldn’t view it as a chance to ‘cop a feel’, but instead, behave responsibly, and return the hug without implications.

The First Hug

The first hug is the most exciting and dangerous. It will tell you a lot about the woman, and how they feel about you. It will become a template from which all future hugs will spring. Get it right first time, and you’ll soon be hugging with no clothes on for minutes at a time.

One of the many rules is that you let the lady dictate the pressure, but it’s difficult to gauge this on the first hug, as it will last only a matter of moments, so it’s best to play it safe.

The first few hugs will be more a meeting of the shoulders as you lean towards each other, instead of any torso-to-torso intimacy. Let your arms rest on them, whilst applying only minimal pressure. I call this The Drape. It is relaxed and non-threatening. Remove your arms as soon as she begins moving away. Keep it simple, and without any excessive flourishes.

Words to describe actions you should avoid:

1. Stroking
2. Caressing
3. Lingering
4. Grinding
5. Tonguing

If you’re worried about your technique, practise on a large cushion. If you can hold the cushion without changing its shape, then you’ve got it right.

Key to knowing if you’re pressing too hard:

1. You feel her breasts flatten against you.
2. She screams.

Monday, 7 December 2009

Sunday, 29 November 2009

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Special K: That's not my name

I've been trying to upload this for like a week, and now it's here in all it's disappointing glory. Should have the next vid up in a few days. Enjoy.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Little update and more Special K

I know, I know. I haven't made any real posts in ages; fobbing you off with extracts from la novel, and now videos from some shmuck called Special K.

I do miss writing the blogs, but I'm a busy boy these days. At the moment I am:

* Setting up an actual website, with content and everything
* Writing a radioplay
* Working on the novel
* Making weekly videos
* Other boring uni stuff
* Watching Grey's Anatomy

I might find some time to write something proper in the future of some alternate universe, but for now, this will have to do.

If you're new to this site, then take a look around, there's some good stuff in the archives I reckon.

Monday, 19 October 2009

Special K: Too Feminine?

This one is a bit random, soz.