Personality test results from discredited psychologist, Dr Mikel

Took an online personality test and learned a few things about myself. The results follow.

ISTJ – Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging. Inspector or Duty Fulfiller

Often referred to as Inspectors, the ISTJ has an almost needless attention to detail that is rarely of any use. They make a grand show of being careful and thorough in everything that they do, perhaps to cover up the fact that they seldom know what they are actually supposed to be doing. Indeed, they spend a great deal of time floating through life in absolute confusion. Nevertheless, they enjoy cultivating their image as an inspector, and can often be identified by their monocles, whether they have good vision or not.

ISTJ’s are the most conservative and traditional of the personality types. They fear the chaos of individuality, and find great comfort in the homogeny offered by uniform, feeling uncomfortable in any clothes not decided by an authority.

ISTJ’s like to emphasise the importance of being true to their word, indeed, they consider this the most binding and effective of contracts as they rarely learn to read. They regard written characters with a mixture of reverence and fear, and feel greatly discomfited when books are left open too long.

ISTJ’s are known for being hardworking, but no matter how much time they spend on any project, their results are always the same. Their work lacks pizzazz or distinctiveness and is at best, unremarkable. ISTJ’s never pursue a career in the arts, and are often mistaken for being colour blind, due to showing no preference whatsoever when it comes to decorating their homes.
Extravagant gift-wrapping is the fastest way to anger an ISTJ, and the sight of a bow can cause vomiting. Their font of choice is Times New Roman.

ISTJ’s can be difficult to approach because of their serious airs, which can lead other personality types to thinking them dull. They are also often mistaken for autistics because of their inability to distinguish irony, and their literal minded approach to everything. However, it is encouraged that you take the time to get to know an ISTJ, as what they lack in social flare, they make up for in foreign currency collections.

Much like a dog, the ISTJ has an unquestionable loyalty to anyone that calls themselves master. They pride themselves on their dependability, but oddly enough, frequently end up in positions of leadership. There is no real explanation for this phenomenon, but what’s more unusual is their ability to maintain their job without attracting any attention, or making any major faux pas. Some attribute this to a powerful intuition, or perhaps even psychic tendencies, but further study has linked 95% of ISTJ’s work based decisions with their reliance on magic 8-balls. Their preferred sexual position is missionary.