Hard of Hearing

I was shaving recently when I realised that I can hear better in my left ear than I can in my right. The buzzing seemed louder and more threatening in my left ear, like a chainsaw approaching from behind, whereas my right ear barely registered the threat in those whirring blades, instead recognising it as the deranged hum of a Buddhist in prayer.

How did this happen? Had I inadvertently exposed my right ear to more loud noises than my left? I remembered something about ears and balance, so I developed a limp that suggested my equilibrium was distorted. People thought I was drunk. If only they knew the burden I bore. Then I remembered that deaf people never seem to have difficulty walking, and it turns out your balance is only effected if you perforate an eardrum or wear a heavy coat. I went back to walking normally.